A look back at 2014 and hopes for 2015

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2014 has been one of the toughest of my 25 years. I have been ill with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome since January and the journey to a diagnosis and acceptance was incredibly difficult. From January through to July – I had no idea what was wrong with me and I was having countless tests and seeing lots of different specialists to try and find out. It was a very scary time filled with hope and lots of disappointment. Lots of different conditions were suspected but then quickly ruled out – rheumatoid arthritis, connective tissues disease, lupus, and more. Then I was tested for Lyme Disease and the test came back positive. I was so happy to have a diagnosis and relieved to have finally found out what was wrong with me. But then I had further testing which came back negative and I was devastated and lost again. We did some further research on Lyme and discovered that the testing in the UK is very unreliable and that we would need to get tested abroad which costs a lot of money and even then isn’t anywhere close to being 100% accurate. Lyme disease is a minefield.

In the meantime I was doing some research of my own. And from reading several blogs and websites I discovered an illness I’d never heard of before that matched my symptoms exactly – POTS. I asked to be tested and referred to a POTS specialist which later lead to me being diagnosed with the illness in July. Finally I had my answer. Although we don’t know the cause of my illness (I need further testing for Lyme next year as that is a potential cause), it is so nice to know what’s going on with my body. Knowledge is power. When I was diagnosed I felt lots of mixed emotions – I was devastated to find out that I had another chronic illness that doesn’t have a cure, but also happy to know what was wrong with me. It took a little while for me to get my head around that.

Towards the end of this year I have felt a lot more positive. Although I know that its going to be a long ride, trying to find the right medication to help me manage my symptoms, I am hopeful I can gain some quality of life back in the future. I can also see that good things have come out of me being poorly. I now have a new perepsctive on life – see my post; With Gratitude, Comes Happiness – I am grateful for the simplest things in life now. I am also even closer to my family and my boyfriend that I ever have been. They have all been such an amazing support to me, and there isn’t a night that goes by when I don’t lie in bed and think about how lucky I am to have them. My illness has shown me who my real friends are and those that have stuck by me have been incredible.

I also started my blog this year and my clean eating journey (you can read more about this here) which has helped to give me a purpose again as I had to give up my job and my life in cornwall when I became poorly. Blogging has enabled me to meet some amazing people; others suffering from the same/similar illnesses who I now consider my friends. One special lady in particular, Faye, who I actually knew from uni, got in touch with me as she is also poorly with ME/CFS and we’ve since become very close which is so lovely! You must check out her wonderful blog – it’s so inspiring and is guaranteed to make you smile.

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I didn’t do new years resolutions this year as there isn’t much I have control over in my life at the moment, but I do have a few hopes for the year. Obviously my main hope is for my health to improve, and the health of my spoonies friends. I am planning on spending a lot more time in Cornwall this year; I adore it down here so in-between appointments in Gloucestershire I’m going to go home to Cornwall :) I also hope to be able to go on some little getaways this year with Paddy – he has just learnt to drive so we want to explore Cornwall and go on little adventures to different beaches. If I see some improvements with my health I’d really love to go to Paris as I’ve been dreaming about going a lot recently!

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Thank you for all of support in 2014 and I hope in 2015 beings you good health, love and lots and lots of laughs! 

What are your New Years Resolutions or hopes? 

10 Comments

  1. fibrogeek January 5, 2015 / 1:04 pm

    You have had a really tough year Sophia and I think it’s great you are able to see all the positives too. It sounds like you have a great support network around you. If you haven’t heard of it, you may be interested in a book called ‘suffered long enough’ by Dr William Rawls. It is written about his personal journey of overcoming fibromyalgia and Lyme and I’ve seen some great progress from following his advice. I wish you all the best for 2015

  2. Hayley-Eszti January 5, 2015 / 3:30 pm

    What a year it has been for you but you are super strong and this year will be great for you, mostly because I am in your life 😉 haha and secondly because we will soon be on YT!! If this year isn’t kind, I will beat it up for you, and I’m hard

  3. celtics345 January 5, 2015 / 3:38 pm

    Sorry to hear 2014 was a difficult year for you Sophia. I hope 2015 brings you happiness and joy. You sound very positive which is great. You have a great support system which is vital. I find you and your blog to be very inspiring. I hope you find the right medications to feel better very soon. It is a relief when you know your diagnosis. I am glad you have great friends. Hang in there and keep blogging! Wishing you all the best in 2015!

  4. berrystylegirl January 5, 2015 / 4:08 pm

    Oh, Sophia, it was such touching reading. Really…I can’t be thankful enough to meet you and Faye as well as some other spoonies. Though I strongly wish you life was never affected by this illness, I’m so glad to know you. I wrote it somewhere but just will repeat: each night I think about you all wishing next day be better for you. Thank you for sharing your story, thank you for being so open and thank you for your beautiful personality which is shining bright enough to prove again that you are not your illness. Thank you for all that time spending on writing.
    As for my hopes…This year I won’t have resolutions. But I strongly hope to learn to give myself a rest. It’s important for me but I tend to forget about it. And I wish to become in remission with ED. And to find a job – or at least find who I want to be:) But it’s not so important as one – main wish. I wish those whom I love – my dearest people, my online friends and my ‘life’ friends have more happy days than bad days. And wish I can share my warmth and love with them.
    Thank you again, Sophia! Love you, wonderful girl.

  5. Berta Karaim January 5, 2015 / 8:23 pm

    I suppose my main goal for 2015 is to finish the final year of high school with good enough grades, so that I can study what I want at university. At the same time, I hope that I can not forget to do what makes me happy, such as cooking, and just generally not lose myself (and my health) in the all the stresses that I will envitably have to endure.
    2014 was unquestionably a tough year for you, but I think that with your positive attitude 2015 is bound to be a better one!
    All the best for 2015! xx

  6. Rachel Marie January 7, 2015 / 6:37 pm

    Best of luck for 2015!

    I’ve got a naked basics 2 palette giveaway on my blog if you want to take a look :)

    Rachel Coco

  7. HerBalancedLife January 7, 2015 / 10:05 pm

    Another inspiring post :) I really love following your blog, keep up the awesome work!

  8. Josie January 8, 2015 / 4:06 pm

    I loved reading your blog last year Sophie (although I don’t comment much, sorry!!) 2014 must have been so scary and frustrating but I’m happy you’re feeling a lot more positive (although it’s totally fine to have a moan when you want to!) Wishing you all the best with your hopes for 2015, especially being able to spend time in places you love and new places too! xxx

    Josie’s Journal

  9. lennae87 January 12, 2015 / 10:29 am

    Happy New Year Sophia! 2015 will be a great year, I wish you all the best and hope you seen big improvements with your health.

    Lennae
    xxx

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